				Jet Set Willy
			    Fucked Internet Remake
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				  Contents
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1: Usual Crap
2: WARNSKI
3: Some crap I typed before I decided this was an official remake
4: Story
5: New rooms and changes
6: Legal stuff and thanx
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1:Usual crap
 
Jet Set Willy: Fucked Internet Remake
By the DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!! BaSe1 PrOdUcTiOnZ 2003.
Based on the original concept by Matthew Smith.
Game from software projects 1984
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2: WARNSKI

Potentially offensive to everybody, but probably not. Language, themes 
blah blah blah! I'm sick of typing these by now.
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3: Some crap I typed before I decided this was an official remake

This game at the time it was started had no story, and no real plan for
a proper game. After doing the Fucked Internet Remix I thought since my
net was still not available I'd do another one but this time. I've been
takin' my time with it (well to a certain extent anyway), I've designed
a few rooms which were too good (or funny, or Both) to stand alone in a 
remix. I started this game last night which was the first of april 
2003 (I really wanted to release the fucked internet remix on april 
fools day since it's crap), and after stealin' the tetris music (a' la 
goodnite luddite) I set about just changin' some graphics and colours 
about. After changin' a few guardian and room colours this game started 
to look a little brighter than usual. Once again I changed "The 
Nightmare Room" into a similar shaped but different room, which I'm 
really startin' to run thin on ideas for these days, must stop doing 
it ("The Slightly Easier Nightmare", "Psycho Eggz UXB", and "The 
Experimental Dream Room to name a few). I removed and shuffled a 
shitload of guardians tonight (02/04/03 brit style D/M/Y), and decided 
to go the whole hog and do a remake. I don't intend to change the games
structure drastically like my recent games, but just enough to be 
classed as a remake rather than a remix. So in effect it'll be like my 
first official remake (JSW The DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!! for those who don't 
know). Of course since I've been editing this game for over a year 
now, I'm considerably more clued up than when I did the slightly 
humble JSW The DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!!. I hadn't touched a 48k JSW in almost 
a year, until I did the fucked internet remix. I think about another 
month or so and it may have been longer, I chose 48k for that game just
because a lot of JSW Authors are returning to 48k JSW, and also because
it was smaller in size and just a remix I was doin'. Plus I set myself 
a 24 hour deadline which is why it turned out shit. But after reading a
lot of posts on the JSW yahoo group about the technical advantages and 
versitilty of 48k JSW over 128k and a lot of thought I decided that 
once Bizarre, The Thing, and Monkey! are finished I'm goin' to return 
to 48k JSW for a while (possibly permanently, I've already scrapped 
Futurama as a 128k and cut and pasted the main sprite over to 48k). I 
put this down to partially 1: as soon as my net fucked I had no means 
of reading the group messages 2: I replayed Andrew Broads lord of the 
Rings (I'd finished the lite version without too much hassle but I was 
still pretty crap at the uncut version) 3: Also with my net bein' off 
I've been playing a lot of Geoff mode games again (48k and hacked to 
pieces) 4: Erix 1's Maria vs Some Bastards blew me away (also 48k and 
hacked to pieces) and finally 5: I took in a lot about 48k JSW's 
versitility from reading stuff on the net before mine died. I realised 
I was using 128k JSW after "The Down and Out Trilogy" for pure sprite 
greed that's why I reconditioned Futurama to 48k, now that I think back 
I probably would've done Bizarre as a 48k JSW if I didn't need the 
sheer volume of sprites for it. But the thing and Monkey! would 
literally have to be 128k for what I have planned. I suppose I'm goin' 
to read a lot of stuff about poking and hacking this game now, since I 
have pretty much nothin' to do through the week these days. I suppose 
I was inspired after poking the tune into 48k JSW last night, I mean 
fair play I didn't write the tune and I wasn't the first to put it into
this game but it was so easy to do, my mind was just flooded with ideas
of heavy modifications to the game engine. After I poked that tune in, 
the first thing that went through my head was why the fuck didn't I do 
this sooner? So I'm gonna get a fresh JSW just to practice some hacks 
on, and by the time I've finished my 3 pending 128k games, I may be 
able to seriously take JSW 48k apart. Then again once things get hard I
may just get angry and give up hahahaha. Well it's now 1.20am 03/04/03 
so I'm goin' to go to bed cos' I've got work in the mornin'. No doubt 
by the time you read this, this game will be finished though so there 
was no real significance in me mentioning dates and times because it'll 
take me at least another week to finish this off, and it could be 
months before I could actually post the game. If you're reading this 2 
yrs after I've written it then I know I've been VERY unlucky 
HAHAHA!!!!! I think If anyone actually bothered to read this far I'll 
put the date I actually posted the game at the end, so they know HAHA!

DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!!
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4: Story

Like I've said at first this was not to be taken seriously but after I 
acheived my goal with the Fucked Internet Remix, I was bored and wanted
to continue with JSW editing, whilst at the same time bein' too pissed 
off to work on my other pending projects (I won't go into detail as all 
my readmes make a million references to my past games and future 
releases). So I decided to make this an official Sequel to the Fucked 
Internet Remix. I chose the Title Fucked Internet remake or F.I.R.2 for
short. I may in the future parody myself by making this a trilogy with 
the potential of the third being called Fucked Internet Resurection, or
as you may have guessed F.I.R.3. The whole idea of the parody is aimed 
at the "Down and Out Trilogy" which took me about a 8 or 9 months to 
make altogether (and I hyped and plugged it ruthlessly the whole time I 
was makin' it). This Trilogy if I choose to actually make it a trilogy
Will take me roughly 8 or 9 weeks hahaha. The only thing that worries 
me about these side projects is I might exhaust my mind of decent room 
layouts and sprites (partially because I rarely use other Authors 
sprites and rarely re-use my own in new games), because I have a habit
of leaving games for a period of anywhere between a day to 3 months, 
then I'll sit and cram everything I've recently thought of and written 
down into a 4 or 5 hour session.  

Anyway the story since there was supposed to be one here.

After last time Maria was happy when her computer was fixed, life was 
normal and Willy was happy. Maria after a hard days cleaning goes to 
fetch some last minute shopping. In her haste she left her computer on 
the table, still connected to the net. Willy passing by it and a little 
bit drunk decided to have a go. 10 minutes later and about 35 viruses 
and continuous pop ups that he couldn't get away fast enough, he 
panicked. Willy pulled the plug out, when he plugged it back in the 
crackling noise that greeted him was not very reasuring. Oh Fuck I've 
broke her computer he thought. Just then Maria came back and as she 
entered the room you can imagine that she was not best pleased. Right 
she said I'm on strike after tonights party you can tidy up yourself 
and find me some bits to fix my computer AGAIN!!! 
  
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5: New rooms and changes

The usual bollocks applies here a lot of them are just touched up some 
are completely different, and like I say any with changes get a mention
any that are there that haven't got a mention haven't been changed.


1: The Stylish Bathroom

This is another of my Bathroom clones, containing the exact same layout
and probably the last time I do this. This game will be out long before
Bizarre is finished, so in effect Bizarre will be my true last game to 
feature a similar bathroom. But this is the last I'm workin' on. I 
changed the earthblock and the water block to tiles and put them next 
to each other, explorers will still be able to walk left straight 
through the platform at the bottom of the stairs (quirky features 
ahoy). I changed the conveyor to be similar to the JSW2 bath (I think 
it may be identical to the Fucked Internet Remix), and I changed the 
bollocks sprite to yellow instead of green. Other than that the 
room remains the same.

2: Top landing

Earth graphic is slightly different, water block has just had a colour 
change. The guardians have a slight colour change and the ramp. Other 
than that it's identical.

3: Master Bedroom

Different colours for all blocks used in this room, Earth graphics 
changed. I added 2 chandeliers here too other than that nothing 
changed.

4: First Landing

Earth graphic changed and water and ramp colours too. The cross remains
the same for a change, I didn't invert it. I did change the sprite for 
the priest slightly and this will apply to every room that also has 
this sprite in it (just so I don't have to mention it for every room 
it's in). I did however change the colour of the guardian.

5: The Chapel

Added a ceiling with 2 chandeliers, changed the earth graphic. The 
priest, devil, and Skull guardians in here have a colour change too. 
The colour change applies mainly to the skull as this still exists in 
other rooms.

6: The Bad Dream Chamber

About the 7th Nightmare room variant I've made, not very hard to do but
it might catch somebody out....well maybe. I suppose it's not bad to 
look at and I'm glad I put it here because the giant Maria inspired a 
few rooms in Bizarre and I started work on it again. Willys' Sprite and
the horizontal guardian are both upside down Willy Sprites.

7: A Fuckin' Tree Indoors! As If!

Would've been the banyan tree, although some may have already worked 
that out by now judging by the cynnical way the room title is written. 
I just drew a pretty basic sprite for the guardians in here, I don't 
think there's an exact one out there but I know this one looks like a 
guardian from another game. Not sure if it's JSW though?

8: Pirahnas in the Swimming Pool

Just the swimming pool with the auto collect fixed and a different 
sprite in the water. 

9: To the Kitchen     main Stairway

Just the earth block that's different.

10: Flamin' hot said Mr Tayto

Just the Cold store with different colours, I made it hot instead of 
cold (Duh!) the fire blocks are now little flames instead of the spiky 
snowflake things. The ice creams aren't there at all, and the penguins 
are on fire. The name I got from a character on a crisp packet called 
Mr Tayto (who looks like a CG version of Fred Elliot from Coronation 
Street).

11: Back stairway

Colours changed.

12: Back Door

Colours changed.

13: Don't be fooled it's 90% piss

Was the beach. It's now blocked off to the left by rough tide, the room
title also relates to the sea. other than these changes it remains 
pretty much the same.

14: Wine Cellar

Colours changed.

15: Security Guard

The same but with the hole in the floor filled in.

16: Tree Top

Almost identical just with the left exit blocked and a right exit 
added. I changed the flower guardians path ever so slightly just to 
stop it from crashing into the wall.

17: Eddie the Psychotic Cherry

To the right of Tree Top. The inspiration for this room is quite silly 
really, I wanted to have a screen to the right of "Tree top" but not 
too different from a regular tree type screen. My twist here is the 4 
sprite guardian which although simple appears effective (well to me 
anyway, it might also appeal to stoners hahaha). Now here's the silly 
part the idea for the guardian in this room came from the actual 
cartoon cherry on a bottle of Morrisons supermarkets own brand of 
Cherryade. My mother got me three bottles of pop while she was at 
Morrisons and by the time she returned I was a little intoxicated, 
there was no room in the fridge for them so I kept them down beside my 
computer. I looked in the bag to see what type of pop she'd bought and 
upon seeing the cherry on the label spent a good 20 minutes laughing 
hysterically at it. Once I'd calmed down This room was born hahaha.

18: Ballroom West

Colours changed. Also the bug-byte face guardian is now the second 
amoebatron from software projects MM and also I removed the legs from 
the bug byte face and added vacant looking eyeballs. So basically all 
the rooms that contained the Bug-Byte faces will have one of these 2 
sprites instead. So I won't make a mention of them in every room 
they're in.

19: Ballroom East
 
Colours Changed.

20: The Hall

Colours changed. I also changed the chandelier from yellow to green, 
this applies to all other rooms that use this sprite (but I think it's 
just the "West Wing" which may not even be there by the time this is 
finished). I also changed the pig sprite as the original sprite was 
drawn over by the upside down Willy in "The Bad Dream Chamber". So I 
had to move the pig to a completely different sprite slot also it's now 
purple instead of red. If I knew a way to change Willys' sprite in 
every room in 48k Jsw I'd do it. I presume you can do it with the 48k 
editor I usually use, but I chose JSWED only for this for the sake of 
speed.

21: Front Door

Colours Changed

22: Penthouse

Was the "Orangery" basically it just  has a name change a colour change
and a few platforms shifted. No vertical guardians at present but I'll 
add to this bit if I decide to put some here. Nah! I just tactically 
placed a few fire blocks.

23: Penthouse Roof

Just the "Conservatory Roof" With the bug fixed and a name change.

24: Arse end of the penthouse

Would have been "A bit of tree" but since the tree is no longer here it
would be silly for this room to still be here it's just a load of 
platforms and one horizontal guardian which is meant to be an insect of
some kind. The guardian moves very maverickly indeed and if you're 
entering here from the left be sure to jump very quickly.

25: Under the Roof

Practically the same but with the air changed to black, the ice cream 
and penknife guardians removed and an extra arrow added.

26: The Attic

No real changes just made the caterpillar look a bit more menacing.

27: Rescue Esmerelda

Just blocked off to the right.

28: The Rickety Fuckin' Rocket

A primitive version of the rocket room, with the journey into space 
tacked together with a teleporter.

29: No cutscene so what! Fuck Off!

As blunt as it is true, it's just the rocket but landed. No space suit 
on Willy though which is a shame but I don't have time to try and 
change the sprite now, I suppose I could try and poke a different 
sprite in at a later date but I can't really be bothered. If anyone 
takes offense to the title feel free to hack the rockets decent in 
yourself. If anyone takes the last line seriously let me know when 
you've done it, it could add a special something to the game.

30: Hell is round the corner

I got the name from the tune of the same name by Tricky, this room 
however is just "Under the Drive" with a colour change. I chose the 
name for the room also because in the original JSW the map would 
indicate that "Entrance to Hades" is to the left of this room, so that 
is another reason for the title. I also removed the bell type guardian
A.K.A a mutant dustbin.

31: If only Willy could mix V-Jolt

This room was "Tree Root" but I thought I'd make a joke of it. The 
title is a reference with a chemical mixed in The first Resident Evil 
game that is used to kill a giant Mutant plant. So I've put the tree 
roots as very large and mostly lethal. The title with the room the way 
it is and the reference to Plant 42 ties in nicely (it's not the first 
time I've tied res-evil into my games, See "Poison froggy" in Fantasy 
world willy).

32: West Wing Closed for Repairs

basically an excuse to get rid of "The West Bedroom" and "Above the 
west Bedroom". I deleted the bird and blocked the wall off to the left.

33: West Wing Roof 

Just the same really with the left exit blocked off and an item added 
to the top level so you have to go up there.

34: I'm sure I've seen this before 2

A space screen to the left of the rather offensive "No cutscene so 
what! Fuck off!" screen. I'd drawn the sprites for here a few nights 
earlier (typed 07/04/03) and now I got round to makin' the room. I 
called it this because although it's not a carbon copy of anyone elses 
room, there are a lot of Space Invaders related rooms out there. So I 
parodied a title that was already a parody (does that make it a 
parodox.....just kiddin').

35: Space bitch well wot ya expect

I could call this the running short on ideas room, after much dabbling 
with this games only vertical colour guardian I realised it wouldn't 
move and it would slowly animate then go beserk which I thought was 
pretty cool. So I thought I'll leave it where it is and add some 
vertical guardians. This deleted the vertical colour guardian, so I 
added it after the vertical guardians which deleted everything. So I 
had to ditch it, what exactly is it for? I replaced the flashing psycho
sprite with a regular one.

36: No! Captain!

A take off of JSW2's Aye 'Appen room, which is no doubt meant to be 
scotty from Star Treks voice (or at least that's what I thought). Just 
added walls 3 more platforms and some more guardians.

37: Shuttle Bay...What the Fuck?

just a simplified version (if that's possible) of JSW2's Shuttle bay 
room.

38: Oi Hat! get da fuck of the ship

The last official room of the spaceship, pretty crap but oh fuck it. I 
did have a room name for this which would've tied in with the tribbles
room that would be here if this was JSW2. But it was too long, I 
would've liked to call it "The trouble with Star Trek is...it's fuckin'
shite", but this was too long. Then I shortened it down to Star trek is
fuckin' Shite, but that just sounded petty so I ditched it for a 
totally unrelated title.

40: 2003 A Space Oddity

Just a basic room, takes you back to "The Stylish bathroom". The title 
was inspired by 2001 A Space Oddesey, Although It does sound a bit 
Bowie-esque. But I'm not keen on Bowie, I suppose he was OK before he 
sold out.

41: Scottish powers hidden test

One I forgot to mention earlier, just "Emergency Power Generator" with 
an extra guardian. The title refers to the exam that scottish power 
make you do before you can work for them. They keep this quiet til' the
very end of the training then spring it on you when you least expect 
it. Usually after they've guarenteed you the job. 

42: Forgotten Abbey

The second one I forgot to mention All that's different is that there 
are only 3 priests and they move considerably larger distances than 
they used to.
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6: Legal stuff and thanx

This is freeware blah, blah. The usual use bits of it if you want, 
don't sell it or any part of it blah, blah, blah!

Thanx to: 

Matthew Smith for all things Miner Willy.
Software Projects for publishin' it.
John Elliott for Jswed.
Andrew Broad for poking the tetris tune into goodnite luddite, Which 
subsequently I pinched for this game.
Thanks to the other JSW authors for inspiration.
I think that's about it really?
Thanks to Daniel Gromann for Playtesting, Spellchecking, and Memory Management.

If I've missed anyone let me know and you will be credited.

Well it's still the 7th of april and I'm finished I think that means 
this game has taken me about 6.5 days to make, but not to worry it's 
not like I'm takin' it too seriously.

DrUnKeN mAsTeR!!! 2003

email - drunkenmaster@radgeez.fsnet.co.uk
